I'm trying to find the consistencies that might help explain why this is happening. I noticed it last Monday when I was in Milwaukee. I had a nice dinner at a client's house: veggies and dip as an appetizer, a couple of Smithwick's beers, lasagna, carrot casserole, garlic bread, and salad. We also had Tiramisu and vanilla/cashew/caramel custard. I used her bathroom and that's when I first noticed the smell. It made me laugh because my mind immediately went to the asparagus thing. But we didn't have any, so I just ignored it.
Then a couple of times later in the week, same thing. At night. I'd take a pee or two before bed and I'd notice the smell. We sometimes use the "if it's brown flush it down, if it's yellow, let it mellow" philosophy, so I put it in that category. The "it's not asparagus so it must be the three-four other pees before me mixture" rationale.
It happened again last night, which was what got me a bit worried. I was out most of the day, hanging out in the Lincoln Square area, writing at a Starbucks. Then I met a few of my friends, Maureen, Matt, and Steve--my writing group friends. We hung out at a German restaurant, talking about life, writerly and otherwise. I had two mugs of German beer (consistency???) and a few pieces of a soft pretzel. Nothing too out of the ordinary.
It wasn't like I was the family sitting next to us or anything. They were from Poland. The slender man was very nicely dressed in a brown suit and tie. He was an older man, maybe my grandfather's age before he died. In his 80's I guessed. His plump wife--I assume she was his wife--was also very nicely dressed. She had thick make-up on her face, a little too much for my taste, but she wasn't there to impress me. She had a nice smile too. Very toothy. The kids that were with them--either their collective children or son/daughter and respective son-/daughter-in-law--were casually dressed. Not sloppy, just casual.
The family were busy at work on two plates of raw ground beef. The old man had a large plate in front of him and he kept mixing the meat with his fork, in calculated movements. I guess it would be called a "folded" movement in cooking/baking terms. He added salt, pepper, a raw egg ("just the yolk...only the yolk"), anchovies, a brown liquid of some sort that they described as, "something like soy sauce," and onions. It took him about 15 minutes to get the mixture just right. They noticed Matt and I were sneaking peaks at their creation, so they began telling us what they were doing. It was a Russian dish--tar tar--and it obviously brought them joy. The old man told me that he was from Poland, and that many people eat this dish back home. They even offered me a sample, insisting almost.
"I haven't used my fork," the man kept saying. "Try it. Here." I refused. It wasn't that I didn't trust them or anything. It wasn't that I didn't want to try it because I actually did. I just felt weird. Like bothering them about their meal wasn't an intrusion, but actually eating some of it was.
The old man ate the entire portion that was on his dish. The rest of them shared the other one. I noticed that they each also ate a small bowl of soup of some kind (it had a big meatball in it), and a main course meal (more meat with added potatoes and cabbage). They sure knew how to eat.
The point is, I didn't try any of that, yet my pee still stunk later that night.
I don't think it was the sandwich I had. I was supposed to stop and get these Vietnamese Sandwiches that Maureen recommended. But when I went there, they were all out of bread. Since I was close to the neighborhood, I stopped at Lucky's Sandwich Shop in Wrigleyville. It was featured on "Man vs. Food" several weeks ago. I used to live in the neighborhood and never went there, but since seeing the episode, I had to try it. It's basically a bar, but they also offer these unique sandwich creations. They are a knock-off of the Primanti Brothers Sandwich in Pittsburgh where they take two large slices of french bread, add your meat (I chose real turkey breast) and cheese, and then add some cole slaw, french fries, and tomatoes. All of that is in the sandwich. It's horrible for you, I know, but it was oh, so good.
This pee thing bothered me so much last night that I had to do what any sane person would do: self diagnose from the Internet.
Here's what I have:
- A urinary tract infection
- Diabetes
- A rare disease of the metabolism
- Dehydration (probably not this because I drink a gallon of water a day)
- Pancreatic Cancer
- Vitamin issues
I tried calling my doctor today to schedule a urine test. I need a physical anyway. They weren't there. Possible Spring Break issue.
I guess my hypochondria will have to wait...
To be continued...
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