Lesson Learned?

When I was little, one of my most favorite things to do was play cards with my grandmother--my mother's mother, or as we called her, Baubie. I'm sure that the feeling was mutual because whenever she came over to the house, she'd always insist on playing five card draw or Rummy 500. We never played for money, we never played for pride, it was simply for fun.

Baubie was an impatient card player. If you took an extra second to contemplate a move, she'd shuffle in her seat, she'd stare you down, and if that didn't work, she'd simply say, in her thick Russian accent,"No?"

I like playing cards, especially Blackjack. If I go to a casino, I am most comfortable sitting at an open spot amongst the other hopeful winners. I prefer starting off at a $5 minimum table, even though it's harder to make big gains on low bets. I know many of the rules of the game and try to play by them. But gambling is gambling and sometimes the odds are against you.

$250 was the most money I've ever won playing Blackjack in a single session. Cyndi and I were on a cruise for our honeymoon, and I signed up for a Blackjack tournament. I took 2nd place and was very pleased with the result because the entry fee was only $20.

I have been teaching Frederic and Lily about Blackjack. I haven't taught them everything, just some of the basics: when to double down (when they draw a 10 or an 11), when to split (aces and eights), when to hit (if the dealer is showing a seven or higher), and when to stand (if the dealer is showing a six or lower). For the most part, they follow these rules with minimal prodding.

My goal was to not only have fun with them, but it's a good way to teach decision making, reasoning, and counting skills. Sometimes I run through the deals too fast, which doesn't give Lily enough time to count, but this has forced her to learn how to count quickly.

One thing I didn't think of, but something I should have assumed, was the need to teach lessons on gambling and greed. Using the poker chips, I contend, is helpful more than harmful. They can see how different denominations of money can be used in different situations. My house minimum is $5, so they know that means at least one red chip. I also pay 3X on a blackjack, so they know if they hit 21 on the deal, they will get $15 in return.

I'm more worried about Frederic than I am Lily. I'm starting to be concerned with his desire to want to "bet" on things. "Hey dad, I'll bet you $5 you can't..." is something he will sometimes say. Since the poker chips don't really hold any value, if he loses them all during our play, we either stop, or I give him more. No lesson there.

I think he's been focusing on gambling lately because I recently went to a casino. He hears that I bet real money and thinks that I automatically won. I know the joy that winning brings. I also know the pain in the gut I feel which weighs on me for days after I lose. So I thought I'd try and teach Frederic a lesson.

I had him give me $1 from his piggy bank. In return, he got one white poker chip. He understood that if he lost that hand, I got to keep the dollar, and the game would be over. If he won, he would get another white chip and have $2. He could decide to cash in the two chips or keep playing. I concluded that the odds were against him and that the lesson would be delivered in a relatively short period of time. My hope was it would be over in one hand.

Hope is not a strategy.

Frederic's $1 turned into $2. Frederic's $2 eventually turned into $15. He was spilling over with joy. Lily wanted in too. Her $1 turned into $2. Her $2 eventually turned into $25. At one point, both kids each had a stack of five $5 chips with several whites.

A lesson was being taught, just not to them.

As time was running out for the game, I pushed a little harder for them to make bigger bets. I have no problem with paying them their rightful winnings, but damn it, I needed to prove my point.

Like any good casino (good when I am the house, bad when I'm not), Lily eventually went back to even. She was especially happy when I handed her original $1 bill. She felt like a winner. But my lesson was really not about her.

Frederic ended the game with $12. He turned his $1 bet into $12, which is a fine lesson in and of itself. But, I focused on the fact that at one point he had nearly $30.

I think he gets it, but I'm still concerned. Concerned because he still thinks gambling is a sure win. Concerned because he may focus on the wrong things. Concerned because he's got $12 burning a hole in his pocket. Concerned because he wants to play again.