DO-OVER

Have you ever done something in your life that you wish you could take back? Not sharing with your brother when you were a child, lying to your parents about stealing a candy bar from the convenience store, breaking curfew, drinking too much at that party, ordering cheese and french fries with that burger. The list is endless, and everyone has them. I don't know anybody who has not said that if given the chance, he would recreate something from his past. Armed with the knowledge of "knowing better" our do-over would prove to be successful; to wrong a past right.

I'm currently reading a book specifically about this subject. "DO-OVER: In which a forty-eight-year-old father of three returns to kindergarten, summer camp, the prom, and other embarrassments," was written by Robin Hemley, the director of the Nonfiction Writing Program at the University of Iowa. It's a great little book about ten events that have happened to the author (kindergarten, the school play, summer camp, 6th grade, joining a fraternity, eighth grade, the prom, standardized tests, a childhood home, and being an exchange student) where he attempted to go back and do them over to see--hopefully--a more positive result. It's a pretty cool idea, and the book constantly makes me wonder what things I would DO-OVER in my life.

Robin Hemley also wrote a short essay in "Wall Street Journal" about some of the things he did as a child that could have killed him: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124295450040645671.html). He contends that people he knows are often remarking how the world is more dangerous now for kids than it was when he was growing up. Hemley disagrees and goes on to wax poetic about some of the dangerous things he did in life as a child.

In an effort to pay homage to an author I am currently reading, thus his book is serving as, what I like to tell my students, a model for my own writing, here are both a list of DO-OVER's mixed with a list of dangerous things I did as a child. Feel free to request further explanations about any or all:

1. I would DO-OVER most of my childhood. More specifically, I would want to be a member of the Elk Grove Village Youth Baseball Program;



2. I used to love to play with lighters and matches. Both of my parents smoked when I was a child, so access to lighters and matches was very unrestricted;



3. I would DO-OVER being a munchkin in the school play. I had a pulled muscle in my leg, so I couldn't sit "Indian Style" (I think they call it "criss cross, applesauce," nowadays). I was sure everyone was looking at me;



4. I started smoking pot when I was 12. I also started smoking Lucky Strikes cigarettes and drinking Jack Daniels at the same time;



5. I would DO-OVER the sixth grade talent show, where I played Elwood Blues from the "Blues Brothers." If only to feel that popular again, but also to capitalize on my "talent" and see where it would have taken me in life;



6. I injected steroids into my body for two years from ages 16-18;



7. I would DO-OVER basketball camp during the summer between sixth and seventh grade;



8. We played "dirtball" in the cornfield behind our houses when I was five. I got hit in the left eye and stayed in the hospital for three days;



9. I would DO-OVER the first time I had sex. I wasn't in love with the girl, and I treated her like crap afterwords;



10. My brother, Ira, and I used to play in a bacteria-filled, disease ridden, man made lake behind Randy Harmon's house. The water was brown like chocolate milk, and our parents constantly told us not to play in it;


11. I would DO-OVER competitive bodybuilding;


12. My friends and I used to throw Chinese stars at each other;


13. I would DO-OVER acting and writing for the paper in college;


14. My brothers and I used to throw buck knives at each other's feet