My nephew, Kyle, is a junior in high school. He's a great kid. He was the first grandchild/nephew in our family (there's seven total now). I was living in Arizona when he was born. In fact, it was on my visit home to "meet" Kyle, that I decided to move back home. So, it's his fault that I'm back in Illinois.
Kyle is a smart kid. He's in a bunch of AP classes, and has always taken his education seriously. He's getting to that point where he has to think about college. He's at that point really. And I've offered to help. I'm not an expert in the college admission process. I didn't think much about my college selection process. I was the first one in my family to go to a four year college (my mom, by the time I was getting ready to go to college, had two associates degrees), and I was one of over 700 kids in my school. Guidance was not something I received, or really sought out. I applied to a bunch of schools because they sounded like cool places to go. In the end, I was accepted to all of the schools I applied to, but picked Loyola because it was close to my grandmother.
I don't regret my college experience at all. In fact, just the opposite. Things happen for a reason, and a lot more positive came out of my college education than negative.
I have offered to help Kyle with his college selection process. This morning, I started to write a list of things for him to consider. If you are reading this and have other sound (or not so sound) advice, feel free to weigh in:
· What do you want to study? This is a different question from “What do you want to be when you grow up.” I started at Loyola with the premise that I would be “pre-law” and go to law school after I graduated. There’s really no such thing as “pre-law.” College, itself, prepares you for your next possible step in life, which can be joining the Peace Corps, going to graduate school, getting a job, traveling Europe, etc. I changed my major no less than five times when I was at Loyola (pre-law, psychology, communication, social work, and English). Think about what interests you. If you want to teach, consider a school with an Education program (most will have one). But, if you want to teach, it does not mean you cannot “double-major” in business, or writing, or art. Having options and a well rounded education is the key;
· Does the size of the school matter to you? Meaning, do you want to go to a small school, or a large University. When I went to Loyola, they didn’t (and still don’t) have a football team. Not that I wanted to play football, but going to a school with a team, be it a Big 10 or otherwise, probably would have been cool. Campus life is important. What you do outside of the classroom is just as important as your education;
· Do you want to go to an in-state school or are you interested in going to school in another state? Going to a Illinois State University (ISU) or University of Illinois can be just as exciting of an experience as going to a completely different state. When I lived in Arizona, I lived near Arizona State University. I hung out with the kids from the school and I even took a class there. I have lived in three states in my life (Illinois, Arizona, and Pennsylvania), and I do think I appreciate the opportunity to live elsewhere, but I have also made it a decision (along with Aunt Cyndi) to live and raise our kids in Illinois;
· Sports, interests, etc.: Do you think you are going to want to play sports during college? Playing sports can mean a lot of things. It can mean continuing the experience you’ve had in baseball since little league, and trying to get on one of the school teams. It could also mean intramural sports (forming a team amongst your friends, and playing organized sports amongst the school internally). What are your other interests? Do you want to write for the school paper? Do you want to join theater? Do you want to run for the Student Body? College will be a time for you to try things you may have been interested in in high school, but just didn’t have the time to do. College offers a wealth of free time. You are going to be making your schedule. You may not have a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You may start classes at 9:30 and go until noon, but then have nothing else on the schedule until 3pm or later. You are going to have to fill those gaps with studying and activities. Try everything. I volunteered. I had jobs. I wrote for the school paper. I acted in a couple of plays. I was in ROTC. I was a Resident Assistant. I was a member of the Housing Orientation Team (I got to move into the dorms early and help people move-in). I ran for Dorm President and was a member of the Senate. I played intramural sports (not that well, but I played). I dated.
· Foreign Exchange Program: Loyola has a campus in Rome, Italy. Students can go overseas for a semester (and in some cases, a year), live and study there. I never did this. I wish I had. A few of my friends did. Take advantage of opportunities like this. My friend, Kevin, lived in Germany for a year. While he studied, he also traveled all throughout Europe. My friend, Javier, lived in Spain. Same with him. Sukhwant, did the Rome Center. I think their experience in Europe offered an additional level for them that I didn’t get. European travel is a blast. I have been fortunate to experience it as a teen and an adult. I didn’t really get it when I was 14 and 17, visiting your dad in England. I didn’t appreciate it. I’ve since been to Ireland, Denmark, and Italy, and would go back to any of these places and others, in a heartbeat. Ask your dad how he liked living in England for 4 ½ years. I’m sure he has a wealth of fond memories. By the time you get to be our ages, you have to find the time to travel. Doing it as part of your college experience is something to consider.
· Fun: College can be a great experience. It was for me. I met some of the greatest people in my life. I maintain most of my adult relationships with people I met 20 years ago in college. I am a better person because of the things I did/learned at Loyola. I didn’t know a single person the day I moved in. I was scared shitless. The first time I walked into the dining room to eat dinner, I almost broke down in tears. Seriously. I looked around at these huge tables of people eating with each other, and I walked to an empty table. I ate my pasta as quickly as I possibly could; swallowed down with a lump in my throat. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to quit. My first roommate was this kid from Viet Nam, Richard, who barely spoke English, and who had nightmares about his homeland every evening. I didn’t let the first day get me down…too much. I lived in a dorm with 300+ guys. There were 30+ on my wing. Those strangers became my friends. I leaned on them and they on me. I realized we were all in the same boat. Guys began asking me if I wanted to go to meals with them. After the first night, I rarely ate alone. That’s when I realized that college was just as much about having fun as it was about learning. You may want to pick a college because a friend of yours is going to a particular school. It’s not a bad idea to follow your friends, but don’t make it the REASON you pick a school. You will meet other people and will make lifelong friends at college.
Are you ready? Pack your bags. Pack your parent's bags. It's time for that College Road Trip!
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