Things change in an instant

When I worried about running out of things to write about on my blog, people suggested I try and look outside of myself and possibly include "others" in my plight. I certainly would have preferred not writing about how Frederic's illness worries me as a parent. That wouldn't be the direction I'd want to go. In fact, I'd rather stay away from the subject of illness; expected or otherwise. But life is like that. For me at least.

Last week, my aunt, Denise, called to tell me she had to have a stent placed in her heart. As I understand it, a stent is a wire mesh stainless steel tube that holds an artery open and keeps it from closing again. A stent opens a blockage in your heart, and keeps it open, which allows blood to flow smoothly. The procedure, she explained, had to be done rather quickly. Today, actually. It was so important that the doctors wanted to get it done before the holiday.

I've known people who have had stent placement. My father had one while he was undergoing treatment for cancer. My brother had one after he had a heart attack. It's supposed to be a simple procedure; outpatient surgery. Matters of the heart, they run in the family. Heart disease, I mean.

When my aunt told me about the procedure, she was anxious. Anxious about the possible complications, but more anxious about the "what if." My aunt is the only surviving child of my 90 year-old grandmother; my father's mother. She has been the primary caregiver of my grandmother for many, many years; even before my father died. While my grandmother lives in a retirement community, she's beginning to need more help. Physically. My aunt bathes her, dresses her, shops for her, cleans for her, sits with her. She does everything for her mother. And, oh yeah, she's also the mother to a 14 year-old high school freshman. Life is busy for her, to say the least. She also lives in Tucson...Arizona.

The big "what if" we talked about Monday night was, what if something happened to her. My aunt has always been very active and very healthy. She had some back problems several years ago, but other than that, I cannot remember a time when she was out of commission. It's not in her nature. One would say it pleases her to help others. When we visited her and the family earlier this year, my aunt cooked for us. And I let her, too. She hasn't cooked for me in years, so I enjoyed every minute of the doting aunt attention.

The conversation we had was superficial, really. We didn't have enough time to fully prepare in the event of an unforeseen emergency.

Earlier today, the reality of that conversation hit. My aunt is currently in surgery, having a triple bypass. When they began the stent procedure, they realized her situation was more serious than originally concluded. They had an opening in surgery and acted quickly. While we cannot all hop on a plane to be there for my aunt, to be there for my uncle, and my cousin, and of course, my grandmother, reinforcements will soon be on their way.

While this may not have much to do with the life of a man on the edge of turning 40, it has to do with my life. It has to do with my aunt's life, and how quickly things can turn. Memories of our times together, how close we have become over the years, keep flooding my head. Prayers keep being tossed up; hopefully being caught. I'm thinking about my father, and my uncle, and my grandfather. I'm thinking about all of my family and friends.

I'm thinking of my aunt.

I hope you will too.