You're right, you're right...I know you're right

I used to get pretty irritated by my father. Whenever I'd ask him for advice, he most often replied, "I don't care...whatever you want." Or some variation on that theme. "I don't know...whatever you want." "I don't care...whatever you think." "I don't know...whatever you think." It drove me insane. I just wanted guidance. I just wanted direction. I guess, at times, I just wanted him to make the decision for me.

Which, as I understand now, is not always the best thing to do. If I made my decisions for my children all of the time, it would be difficult for them to become independent. It would be hard for them to make right and wrong choices. We learn from our successes and failures by making choices, and maybe, in his own way, that's what my father was trying to do.

I often felt like he just didn't want to get blamed for something. Even if his suggestion turned out right, I think what he feared most was being wrong. Or maybe he just had his own life, as simple or as difficult as it may have been. He had decisions to make everyday, like I did and continue to do. It's not that he was selfish, but maybe it simply made sense for him to figure out his own way, like he had done most of his life. And that's the lesson he was trying to pass on.

I'm beginning to feel like I should simply just "mind my own business" when it comes to helping people and offering advice. I don't mean parenting. I don't mean marital decisions, or times when my wife needs to bounce her life off of me. I've spent a lot of time trying to help someone. I've spent countless hours looking at that person's life, trying to offer sound advice (or advice I thought was sound). But 99% of the time, everything I have suggested gets completely ignored. Completely.

Maybe dear old dad had it right. The sad thing is, I always seem to figure this stuff out when it's way too late.