Friends

I'm not 100% sure who was invited to my 12th birthday party. If I think about who I was hanging around with back then, I can guesstimate the attendee list. It could have been: Jeff Hagen, Tom Bray, Jimmy "Jimbo" Vanacora, Tony James, Jerry Andrews, Bill Lesnig, and Derek Freedman. There may have been others, and some that I mentioned may not have been there. Memories are tricky like that, especially if none of the aforementioned people are part of my "inner circle" anymore.

With my new inclusion in Facebook, I am able to reconnect with people I knew years ago with whom I lost touch for reasons long forgotten (from the list, the only person I am referring to, really, is Jeff Hagen. I haven't found the others.) I like to say that in the summer of 8th grade--just before freshman year of high school, I made a conscious decision to turn a corner. Friends who were part of my everyday were left behind. Friends who smoked Lucky Strikes cigarettes with me, friends who loitered in front of the 7-11 with me, friends who smoked pot with me, friends who hopped fences with me to go waste quarters at the video arcade.

It wasn't that I was better than them, it was just that I wanted to try something different. Little did I know that different would not mean more than paying close attention to my grades, getting hooked on weight lifting (possibly the only thing I've kept part of my life since I was 14) and steroids, and never declaring myself part of any social group. I wasn't a loner in high school, I just never officially became part of any crowd.

The James B. Conant High School Class of 1988 recently had its 20th reunion. I didn't attend. I didn't think that many people would remember who I was, so no one would be "looking" for me. There is only one person from high school I have kept a relationship with all of these years. Shay. I actually met Shay in Junior High School. We've been friends for 27 years. She and I even lived together in Arizona in two different apartments (it would have only been one, but I got us evicted from the first because I had an illegal pet--my dog Leinie). Through peaks and valleys, Shay and I have remained pretty close. She has a great husband and has a parenting philosophy that is similar to ours. If Shay didn't live in Colorado (or, I guess it could be said if we did), I am sure our families would be closer. I would have gone to the reunion if Shay went. Shay knew everybody in high school. She would have been the key that unlocked my inability to remember the names and faces of the 700+ kids we spent four years with.

Today, I am spending the day with my several of my friends. These are the guys I went to college with and with whom I entered adulthood. College was great to me. I came out, not only with a new religion and a piece of paper, but a core group of friends that would endure the things teenagers sometimes don't get. We've attended each other's wedding showers, baby showers, weddings, baptisms, graduations, and even a few family funerals. These are the guys I will grow old with, see their children enter different phases with, spend retirement time together with. I don't remember who attended my 12th birthday party, largely because those friendships didn't last. I had a big party when I turned 30. Among others, here is who attended: Bob, Frank and Karen, Ivan, Javier, Kevin, Dave, Sukhwant, Mike, Brian and Kim, Pat. Names and faces I won't ever forget.