Working out

I have been exercising on a regular basis since I was 14 years-old. It's just been a regular part of my life. There have been times when I have taken time off. Nothing longer than a couple of weeks at a time. Typically because of a vacation or an illness or surgery. Something important like that. I feel guilty if I can't get a workout in on a day that I am "supposed" to lift or run or use the elliptical.

Like today. Because of this damn kink in my back/neck/shoulder, I had to skip my workout. I even thought about just doing the elliptical to get my heart rate up and a good sweat. I know it's a bad idea, but I think about it. Most of the morning. I think that I could ignore the pain I'd feel if I moved the wrong way. I think in the long run my body would feel better. I think it would help me relieve stress and isn't the kink a form of stress? But I know it's a bad idea. I rationalize with myself that if I miss today (a regularly scheduled workout day), I won't take the day off on Monday (a regularly scheduled day off this week). I make deals with myself to feel better.

When I was younger, I'd either ignore doing the right thing (resting) or just not care enough about taking a day off. Back then, my body looked better anyway. I once wrote a piece about exercising. In it, I wrote that I exercise now to maintain my shape rather than change it. Makes sense. When I was a Freshman in college, I weighed about 185 pounds. It was shortly after I stopped my two year love affair with steroids, so some of the weight was due to that. I had more muscle on my body back then for sure. The good news is I'm still a 33 inch waist like I was in college. I also hover my weight between 165-172.

I'm old enough and smart enough to know that taking the day off--taking as many days off as I need really--is not going to be the end of me. It's not going to be the trigger to not working out anymore. My body is older and it needs more time to heal than it did years ago.

If I'm smart enough and old enough to understand that, then why do I still feel guilty for not working out?