Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself

So much of life, my life, revolves around trying to make sense of my thoughts. Last week, when I was driving to Urbana, I was listening to a book by Alan Alda. As far as my memory goes, I know we used to watch "MASH" when I was a kid. The show ran for a good chunk of my childhood, so while I missed much of the first few years, by the time I got older, the show was more mature. The actors were in a grove and I liked what I saw on TV.

My favorite character on "MASH" was Radar. I mean, come on, a guy who can predict when the helicopters are coming, now that's something. He was a small town kid who was probably a hero in the eyes of everyone back home. Radar was even part of the spin-off shows, "After MASH" and "RADAR," but those were not that good.

My favorite "MASH" episode was when Radar was trying to impress this girl. She was untouchable to Radar, in his own mind, because she was pretty, cultured, more experienced. My favorite line from that episode came when Radar learned about classical music, something he thought would impress the girl. Radar would say, "Ah, Bach"; the name coming out sounding like he was pronouncing something in Hebrew, spit and all. After the episode, I went around saying "Ah, Bach" all the time. I still say it once in a while. It reminds me of something I liked as a child.

I'm not a huge Alan Alda fan, but I heard the book was pretty good. Alda's been around for a long time, he's accomplished much in his life, and he started somewhat of a second career with two best-selling books. I thought it was worth a try.

The book is called, "Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself." I love the title. It describes me, and I am sure many people, if not a couple, to a tee. My thoughts are always running through my head, thinking about my wife, thinking about my kids, about work, God, friends, my health, what I should eat, exercise, things I am writing, things I want to write, things I am reading, things I want to read, places I want to go, places I have been. Thoughts.

I once thought about writing a book based purely on my random thoughts. I wanted to call it, "Things I Think About, But Too Scared to Share." I envisioned it being a book that dug real deep into my thoughts. Like if I saw a guy in the store yelling at his kids and I thought about something powerful to say to him, something like, "That's the way to raise your kids, shower them with horrible memories so that when they get older, they'll resent you." Something that would stop the guy in his tracks. But I never did. Never said the words, never wrote the book.

Alda's book was pretty interesting. The parts I heard were at least. He begins the book with telling about a near death experience he had when he was travelling in another country. When the doctors saved his life, he felt like he was reborn. He was amazed by the energy he had at his age. Felt his career was finding new avenues, and his family life was more solid than any other time in his life. That was inspiring to me. A guy who's been a performer all of his life, and at 70, he was still motivated to do more.

The book went on to share a couple of Alda's commencement speeches he gave at various colleges at various times in his life. I didn't listen to the entire book, so it may have veered off into other things, but I listened as he spoke about giving the commencement speech at his daughter's college graduation. He decided, instead of talking to all of the students and hoping his message would reach his daughter, he'd speak directly to her and let the others decide if they want to listen. He was imparting his wisdom on her, on them, things he learned throughout his life that might help inspire her to get whatever out of life she wanted.

He shared the thoughts in his head that he probably came to on a daily basis. What a wonderful gift to give to his daughter and the others who chose to listen.

I guess writing like this is kind of the same idea. I am thinking as I am writing, writing as I am thinking, sharing my thoughts with whoever wants to read them. I often ponder my thoughts before I sit down. My thoughts are with me as I type. It's impossible not to have it happen that way.

I'm just not sure if anyone cares about my random thoughts like the millions (hundreds of thousands?) of people who go out and get Alan Alda's book. I mean, he was an actor on one of the most successful TV shows in history. He's been in 31 movies, been nominated for an Academy Award, won six Emmy Awards, won six Golden Globe Awards. People think he's interesting.

Me, I'm only interesting to a few people. Myself mostly. Right?