What to do, what to do

I have been thinking a lot today about what I would like to do for my 40th birthday. I don't think it's odd to want to do something. I know people who prefer to let the event pass without much fan fair. It's not like I expect to be the center of attention, really. It just seems reason enough to get together with friends a family. As our lives get busier and busier, it seems like the people who have helped shaped our lives are not always the ones we get to spend quality time with without a reason. So, I am thinking that some type of celebration is reason enough.

There is this Danish tradition I love called a cold-table. If you've never been to one, it is something to experience. The first one I went to was in October of 1995. Cyndi and I had been dating for a little over two months, and she told me that she was invited to a cold-table. Her parent's family friend, Per, was turning 60, and his family was throwing him a party. I heard "party" and immediately agreed to join her. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Danes love to eat. Danes love to drink. Danes love to sing. Put them all together and you have the makings of one helluva party. There is a lot of preparation that goes behind a cold-table. Because the meal is basically about four courses, many days can be spent buying the food (importing it from Denmark, if necessary), preparing the dishes, getting the right beer (Carlsberg), and Akvavit (snaps made mostly of caraway, 45% alcohol--"strong stuff"). It's a lot of work, but worth the effort in my opinion.

I've been to several cold-tables since Per's 60th, but my first will always be remembered as being the best. I was a cold-table virgin and I loved the fact that everyone was so open to helping me get through the meal steeped in tradition. I joke that I had so much fun at Per's celebration, that because of it, I decided that I needed to marry Cyndi and fast!

So here is how a cold-table can be described:

Everyone sits down at the table, preferably boy-girl-boy-girl. The Danes like to have candles on the table, so mixed between all of the food are colorful candlesticks of many shapes and sizes.

The first course is fish. The table is filled with mini-bowls of herrings, several kinds. There's herring in curry, herring in red wine, herring in red sauce. There's eel, and shrimps, pieces of crab meat. At some point there is fried fish too. And the Danes like condiments too. There are bowls of pickled beets, pickled cabbage, pickles. There's also bread. Brown bread, white bread, rye bread.

The way you eat the fish is best described as making and eating several open-faced sandwiches. You take a piece of bread (small squares) and cut it in half. On your half square of bread, you smear some butter. On the butter, you place a dollop of your chosen fish. Eat, finish, and repeat.

Pace is the name of the game at a cold-table with both the food and the alcohol, but that is often neglected.

As you are eating, at some point, someone yells "Skol!" ("cheers" in Danish). Everyone who is drinking Akvavit lifts their shot glass, raises it (just below your eyes so you can look at everyone directly), repeats, "Skol!", and drinks. People who are not drinking participate too, with their chosen beverage. The bottles of Akvavit are passed around the table to refill the glasses. All the while, Carlsberg is being consumed (typically warm) in mass quantities.

Once the fish course has reached it's end, the bowls are removed from the table, making way for the meat course. There are a wide variety of meats consumed during this course. Liver, sausage, frikadeller (meat balls made from ground pork, which can also be made of fish), and beef.

Without question, during the meat course, sufficient quantities of Carlsberg and Akvavit are consumed, as well as someone will begin to sing traditional or self-written Danish songs.

Then there's the cheese course. This is where the Danes are separated from the rest of the others in the room. Danish cheese can also be known as "stinky cheese." Your nose gets the punch as soon as the tray passes your place, your mouth gets the punch if you are brave enough to try it, and your stomach feels the burn as it slides down your throat, making its way into your stuffed belly. After nearly 14 years of Danish tradition and customs (with a 12 day trip to the Motherland), I am happy to announce that the smellier the cheese, the better. I love it all.

Finally, dessert is served. The one thing I love to eat at the dessert is this fruit salad that my mother-in-law makes. While it has fruit in it, healthy is not something I'd think of in regards to this dish. It's filled with cream and sugar and chocolate chips. I am sure there is other sweets served at the end of this meal, but I am typically too full and too drunk to get anything more down than the fruit salad.

Describing a cold-table, does not do it justice. It is a custom so steeped in the wonderful people that make Danes who they are that my sorry blog note may not give it the proper dues it deserves. It is something to experience over and over again.

There are other things I might like to do to celebrate my 40th. There's the traditional going to Las Vegas with a group of people, but Cyndi's not much of a Vegas enthusiast. Since my birthday is in January, maybe we can go skiing, or head someplace warm for a long weekend. We can also just hang out at our house, just Cyndi and the kids, but we have always seen our house as a place of hospitality and would probably want to invite people over.

No matter what we do, I am certain of this: I want to have fun, I want to be surrounded by family and friends, I want to act and feel young, and someone at some point should yell "Skol!"