I'm just being honest

I've always believed in being honest with my writing. Sometimes to a fault. Just ask my friend, Matt, and his wife, Debbie. They'll tell you the story about the end of the quarter student reading we had in March of 2005. It was the night I decided to share a masturbation story with a room full of people, including Debbie's parents AND grandparents.

But this really isn't about that night. It's about honesty in my writing. It's about being honest. It's about revealing things about myself during this last year of my 30's. It's also less about embarrassment, no matter how honest I want to be. So in an effort to be honest, I have to admit something that is quite embarrassing.

I wet the bed last night.

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you or someone in the dream is telling you something? You are dreaming and an alarm clock is going off, or the telephone is ringing, or someone is calling your name. Then something wakes you up, and those things are really happening. This is what happened last night.

In the dream, I was peeing. In reality, I was too. I had forgotten how uncomfortable it feels to wet myself. And with the stinky pee I've had lately, it was even worse.

Cyndi and I are pretty much done with our kids wetting the bed. Frederic has only done it a couple of times in the last year, and Lily never really had an issue with it once she was potty trained. When it does happen to Frederic, he's remorseful. He'll strip himself out of his clothes, put on clean underwear, and find a new place to sleep for the night (most often on the floor next to our bed). In the morning, he'll apologize and vow to go to the bathroom, one last time no matter what, before he goes to bed.

But what does a man, who's teetering on the edge of a new decade do with a thing like this? Am I really at that stage of my life where wetting the bed, or worse crapping my pants, can be something that actually happens no matter what the frequency? Is this just a one-time, accidental thing? Is this something I can blame on not going to the bathroom, "one last time," before I go to sleep?

I'm not sure I'm ready; for any of this.