Return policy

Since I started blogging, I've been pretty fortunate with my posts. Since "Blogspot" is a free site, I don't get the bells and whistles that other sites may offer. I can't get concrete stats, my layout is limited, and the auto save feature seems lax.

Last night, I was writing an entry that was pretty extensive. I enjoyed the process (which is a key to writing--for me, at least) and, as I was winding things down, the entire post was wiped away. The box where I write my words was replaced with the letter "n." For some reason, that's the only thing that saved. I tried to press "ctrl Z", a shortcut that sometimes works on this site, and always does in Word. Nothing. I tried using the "back" key, but that just frustrated me more. I attempted to rewrite the post, but the thrill and the enjoyment had turned to anger and frustration. I wrote a post, but a sub par one.

It's interesting how the process of writing can be both exhilarating and disappointing. Something like losing your work can ruin the rest of your day/night. That hasn't happened to me in a while. This is the most consistent I have been with my writing in a long time. I have written something everyday since January 14, and while some days are better than others, I haven't had the panic that comes with an event like last night.

I am not sure if this means I need to consider a new blogging site. I am not against paying for the bells and whistles. I just want to be able to write my thoughts without fear of losing my work. I guess I can simply write the post in a Word document and copy and paste it here. But, I've gotten used to the palate of where I write. That's how writing has always been with me. There were times when I had to write on a specific computer, or I had to use a specific pen. Many writers are like that. My old poetry professor from college, from what I recall, refuses to use a computer. He has to use a typewriter when creating his art. I get that.

It's not like I write earth shattering words that need to be forever etched into the minds of millions of readers. This has always been about discovery. This process has been about revealing, mostly to myself, who I am, where I've been, where my life may take me, and a deeper appreciation for both the creative process and aging.

Last night's unfortunate incident remains in line with these goals. I've learned something about myself and how to better control my emotions. I didn't take my frustration out on anyone but myself. I handled the situation with the maturity of a man teetering on the edge of a new decade. I have an appreciation for the creative process that I haven't had all this time. It's a crappy lesson to learn, but I guess the reminder, no matter how painful, should be seen as a gift.

A gift I'd love to return. But I didn't get a receipt.