Cleaning out my closet

There were many reasons for me to leave Arizona, but I don't regret living here. I once did, thinking that I had to leave all of the pain, misery, and bad choices behind me. Time may make some of the negatives easier to swallow.

Someone once told me that if you are in a bad mood when you get to work, you need to check it at the door and feel free to pick it up on your way out. This was when I was working as a social working in a nursing home, and people relied on me for help. It was unfair of me to try and get through a day with my personal baggage weighing me down. It happened, but I did make every attempt to follow the advice.

I often thought that the same principle applied to my time here in Phoenix. The problems, trouble, and strife would always be there waiting for me when I returned. It may have once seemed that way, but I have many positive memories as well. I've built positive memories with my family here which requires me to make room; get rid of the old stuff that has no place anymore. Cleaning out my closet, if you will.

Arizona is where we learned that Cyndi was pregnant with Frederic. I will always remember sitting in the Fry's parking lot, waiting for the results of the pregnancy test. I will always remember going to the Planned Parenthood in Mesa to confirm what we already knew from the 2-3 previous tests we self administered; laughing at the reaction of the assistant, who thought Cyndi was crying tears of sadness versus tears of joy, which she was probably used to seeing. I will always remember floating down the Salt River with Cyndi, talking about how we were going to be parents; confessing our fears to one another, and our joys.

I will always remember coming back to Arizona in 2001, shortly after 9/11, and introducing Frederic to my grandmother and aunt. We were afraid to get on the plane to come down here; even tried to get out of it with the airline. Five years later, we came back to do make the same introductions with Lily.

I will always remember this trip too: In & Out Burger with my good friend, Dave; Williams, AZ; the Grand Canyon Railway; the Grand Canyon; Slide Rock; lunch with Maureen and her family in Jerome; Schnepf's Farm; the D'Backs with Steve and Val; the D'Backs with just me and Frederic; lounging in the hotel room. There's still more to come.

I am sure that the positive memories will eventually wipe all of the negative ones away. Not completely, of course, but kind of like when you write your name on the foggy mirror in the bathroom.