I dated Molly when I was a Junior in college. I use the term "dated" very loosely. We met at RA orientation in Lake Geneva. I was an RA at Campion Hall and she was at Mertz. We became friends first, and hung out on campus going to church together, going to the library together, going to Hamilton's together. If I remember correctly, Molly even went on a peer retreat the same time I went. I was the spiritual leader. I can't remember 100% if she went on the trip, but my memory tells me she did.
Molly was very apprehensive about dating. She had a boyfriend back at home that she had just broken up with, and wasn't sure where that was going. But she did show signals of liking me. She considered it a victory, for instance, when I asked her to go to the President's Ball over another girl. I remember her saying something like, 'I'm glad I beat her out' or something similar to that affect.
When we went to the President's Ball, we went with my friends, Frank and Karen (who have now been married for almost 18 years). We went to Scuzzi for dinner and then to the ball. I really have no recollection of going to the event. I somewhat remember the dinner, where we had olive oil on crusty bread, drank a bottle of red wine, and I am sure dined on Italian food. But the dance is gone from my memory.
I also remember that I took Molly to Hanover Park that night. We sat in my car in my brother's driveway. He had sold his town home where I lived over the summer, but I didn't have the keys to go inside. So we sat in my car the rest of the night and talked. About what? I have no idea.
At some point, Molly suggested that we go back to the City and watch the sunrise over Lake Michigan. I had never done that before (and haven't since), so we drove the hour back to Roger's Park. We shared a sunrise and then breakfast at Clark's in Evanston.
While I think Molly and I may have, at first, been interested in a relationship that was more than friends, there were just no romantic sparks to fuel the fire, so to speak. Neither one of us got that queasy feeling in our stomachs, we didn't really miss each other if we were apart. The lack of physical contact was probably the best indicator.
I think Molly felt bad that the relationship did not blossom into something more. I say this because she wrote me this very long letter, apologizing for the relationship. She said that we should be "very fun things who do fun things together" but nothing more. She used the term "very good friends who do fun things together" so often in the letter that it became "VGFWGDTT" to make it easier to write.
She was letting me down easy in her mind, something I guess I should have appreciated. But it wasn't necessary. I may have been bummed, but I wasn't heartbroken. In fact, the letter fueled some humorous banter between my friends and I. I don't think we were making fun of her as much as we were laughing at the situation.
Relationships in college are strange like that. You are about to become an adult, yet you really are not ready for all of the feelings and responsibilities that come with adult relationships between the sexes.
In retrospect, obviously, I am glad the relationship moved from casual boyfriend/girlfriend (I'm not sure we even called ourselves that) to "VGFWDFTT". I kind of wish I still had the letter. It may help shed light on who I was in 1990. It may help fill in the gaps of my memory that make the acronym stand out so much.
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